As I was leaving the below mentioned movie I had a thought. It was sad, it was a thought that made my heart pound, my stomach fall to the ground and then question after question come to mind. “A little over a year ago I was walking out of the same movie theater hand in hand with the “love of my life” – the man who just proposed – the man I was going to marry.” WHEW what a thought. The fact that my brain remembers details that are just painful, and ones that I probably won’t ever forget, just makes thing a bit more unfortunate. For example, theater 16 is the movie theater we walked out of, and we saw a move at 6:40, and then EXACTLY where most my family and friends were and where “IT” happened. I even remember the parking spot we walked to after “IT” was all said and done. I think this is weird. I think it is weird that I can forget what you said 10 min ago but I remember the parking spot!! Really?!
After allowing myself to process a bit – the peace floods into my heart and answers come. The Lord is good to me. I don’t know how people live without this reassurance. Jesus loves ME! He ultimately wants my heart to be stronger, bigger and more broken then I can ever imagine. Broken. It is a word I have been too familiar with the past year. GRATEFUL – is also a word I have been familiar with this past year. I am grateful the Lord removed me from what would have been a horrible situation. I am grateful that He cares so much about me to show me just how strong I am with Him, and I am grateful for the reassurance that no matter how broken I am, the Lord is there by my side, holding me, crying with me and simply loving me. No matter how fast I try to run away (or what random boy I kiss - dumb by the way and without consequence) …. I can’t escape. He is the eternal lover of my soul. It’s not a cliché it is my life.
I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Thank you for being my saving grace.
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